


Tony Hawk Pro Ass Eater

by go_bruins



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, John and Dave are shitty teenagers, M/M, Skipping school to skateboard and go to mcds, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21953560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/go_bruins/pseuds/go_bruins
Summary: writing this for the only valid Johndave shipper in 2019/2020.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dave Strider
Kudos: 32





	Tony Hawk Pro Ass Eater

**Author's Note:**

> writing this for the only valid Johndave shipper in 2019/2020.

Dave Strider was a cool guy. That was to say that the way Dave portrayed himself was as a "cool guy." and you John Egbert? You're the kind of person to take your friend at face value. Maybe Dave was cool. Even as John sat there, brows furrowed and face full of concern, Dave did seem pretty cool as he hurtled head over ass off his skateboard.   


The board broke what could only be described as mad air as it flew up from under the Strider's feet and Dave broke was was most definitely his ass and possibly even more as he fell onto to the hard concrete of the ground beneath him. From behind the clear prescription frames, John watched intently as Dave's board hurtled through the air, making a perfect, picturequese arc before coming back down to Earth and clattering loudly as it rejoined Dave's now lying figure, mocking him in its own way by gracefully rolling to a perfect stop by his feet.   


JOHN: im going to call that one a christ air dave.  
JOHN: because not even jesus could help you recover from that.  
DAVE: call that one a christ air because jesus would come down to bless the mad fucking skills i just displayed.  
DAVE: did you or did you not see me both combine a cartwheel into a dismount and then follow those two fat sluts up with a very casual definitely not concussed laying on the ground?  
DAVE: that move was so holy j-man would float on down on his cloud and sanctify me right here and now as the patron saint of mad skateboarding skills.  
DAVE: tony hawk would also be there.   
JOHN: are you implying that tony hawk is the jesus of skateboarding canon?  
DAVE: no im just implying that jesus and tony hawk would definitely totally hang out and come visit people who do what i just did.  


John sits on the edge of the rink in complete silence for several seconds as he stares down at the prone frame of his friend.   


Yeah. Dave Strider was a cool guy alright.   


A safer yet somewhat less impressive dismount came from John in the form of simply standing up, patting down the ass of his khaki shorts so he could march across the empty rink and lean right over Dave, reaching a hand out to help lift the completely casual and definitely not nursing a bruised ass Strider up and off the floor.  


JOHN: well jesus and tony hawk can hang out all they want.   
JOHN: mcdonalds shifts to the lunch menu in 20 minutes.  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: i could totally do a 540 board varial into an egg mcmuffin right now.  
JOHN: do you even know what that is?  


All Dave could do was shrug his shoulders and grab John's hand firmly to help pry himself up and off the rink of the skate park. One could say pry but it was more like John was bicep curling the blonde haired boy up and off the floor with one hand. Dave smiles and so does John before they both just snicker over what had just transpired between the two of them in the thankfully empty rink. John keeps his grip on Dave's hand and Dave doesn't seem to mind, only returning the squeeze as best as he can before once again playing it cool and kicking his almost forgotten board up and into his free hand. He misses and it ends up slapping against his thigh.   


DAVE: if i say yes will you buy me a sprite?  
JOHN: i'm going to buy you a sprite regardless dave!  
JOHN: i owe you one anyway for letting me see you be a total geed and eat ass like that.  
DAVE: and here i would have believed my ass eating skills transcended the spoken word.  
DAVE: that my skills were only spoken of as hushed whispers between two secret spies meeting in some dilapidated carpark to exchange secret documents and maybe kill one another.  
JOHN: that better be your head trauma talking because that is at least the fifth or sixth worst metaphor you've hit me with.  
JOHN: today that is.  


With a flourish John leans forward and presses a kiss to Dave's forehead and for a second it seemed like Dave's cheeks were going to take the same red shade as his signature shirt. The smile on John's lips remained as ever the gentleman he bends down to pick up the Strider's almost long forgotten board and tuck it under his arm. For a second, the two just stood there in quiet silence, John smiling at Dave and Dave furiously blushing at John, albeit with his classic and practiced poker face. And then they both just laugh, a genuine laugh, between two very happy people. Dave's fingers intertwine with John's as they begin their slow walk outside of the empty skate bowl 

Dave Strider was a cool guy. And John Egbert loved him all the same.  



End file.
